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Tuesday, 01 April 2008

Friday, 16 March 2007

  • if my life were a movie this would be the part where the narrator says "and then the unthinkable happened!" things were actually going good for once in my life, things made sense i was so close to that 'bliss' that iwanted and then something happened... at first i was always on the look out for ashton to come out and tell me i was being punk'd or something but when he didn't show i stopped looking and then it happens! wtf?  Life sux!!!

Wednesday, 18 October 2006

Thursday, 07 September 2006

  • What is dogging?

    Public sex, usually outdoors, that sometimes involves the voyeurs joining in. Though dogging started in the UK, it is spreading very quickly across the world.

    10 Commandments of Dogging

     

    1. Thou shalt wear thine rubbers. Thou shalt adorn thine male organs with the finest sheaths of latex for the prevention of sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy.
       
    2. Thou shalt not fornicate before innocents. Keep thine revelries from the eyes of children and unsuspecting passersby, and refrain from disturbing the peace and attracting attention.
       
    3. Thou shalt not block thine neighbor's view. Take care thou dost not obscure the sight of thy fellow dogger, and yield the right of way to them who arrived before you.
       
    4. Thou shalt look with thine eyes, not with thine hands, until invited. Layest not thine hands upon a person without their explicit verbal permission.
       
    5. Heed the sanctity of a woman's right to refuse. What part of "No" dost thou not understand, thou pushy bastard?
       
    6. Honour thy neighbor's anonymity. Thou shalt not expose, blackmail, or otherwise compromise the privacy of thine fellow doggers.
       
    7. Thou shalt not destroy public property nor trespass upon private property. The country parks, beauty spots, lovers' lanes and car parks of  the land shall not be desecrated through vandalism or carelessness.
       
    8. Thou shalt covet thy neighbour's wife. Thou shalt swing and make merry with thine own mate and all other consenting parties.
       
    9. Thou shalt clean up after thine own self. Before thou departest, gather unto thee all of thine used condoms, torn wrappers, discarded tissues and other rubbish, and dispose of them in a bin.
       
    10. Thou shalt drive safely and honor the laws, both while motoring and parking. Thou shalt not engage in reckless behaviour while in a moving vehicle, and thou shall park legally and engage the parking brake when at rest.

Wednesday, 06 September 2006

  •  

    Love may hurt, but sometimes self-love hurts the most. We've combed through the medical journals to find the most horrific examples of masturbation mishaps. From misplaced household items to self-mutilation to accidental death, it's all here, and it's all true.

    There's a simple lesson to be learned from all this. Whenever possible, masturbate with a friend. Don't go it alone. It's just too dangerous.

    Reader Horror Stories

    Emotional scars

    Well, I did a real dumb thing about 11 years ago. I had this flute-style glass flower vase, and it looked perfect for masturbation. The right width and length. So, I opened this old trunk I had and put it between the open lip and the lid. When I got on my knees it was the perfect height. Well, it was working great until I put too much pressure on the lid and it crushed the vase with my cock inside it. I put the pressure on it right when I was cumming, and it severely severed my dick. There was blood everywhere, and I had to have emergency surgery. The wounds were superficial and I had 30 stitches in my cock. It was extremely painful and I contemplated suicide many times, and almost did it once. I have lived with the terror and humiliation beyond all description.

    I realize that others think it's funny, but I have very painful flashbacks and I've never been able to have another relationship or sleep with a woman since. I doubt I ever will. My cock has a barely visible scar on it, but it is there. Often I think back to it and I can barley overcome my shame. I can't even talk to a counselor, maybe the anonymous sharing of my story is the first step.


    Bright Idea

    I came home drunk one night and started masturbating in the bathroom. Because I was drunk, I wasn't getting good sensation. I squatted and screwed a burned out light bulb into my ass. When I came I fell backwards and broke the light bulb. It took a lot of straining, digging and tearing to get the metal out of my ass. I bled for two days. I don't use any thing breakable any more.


    Shower Shot

    The first time I masturbated in the shower I didn't really expect my cum to shoot out so fiercely so I wasn't aiming and I let myself ejaculate freely. Unfortunately my accuracy was way off and it shot straight into my left eye! I  was crawling around in the shower for at least 20 minutes trying to wash it all out of my eyes


    Piercing Scare

    I have a Prince Albert (genital piercing going into the penis urethra and out the bottom), and one evening I was masturbating with a circular barbell in place. It feels pretty good when one of the steel balls enters my urethra. Anyway, it happened that the ball that entered my penis was loose, and as I stroked, it came off the barbell. I felt it immediately, and thought that it had slipped deeper in my urethra as I had stroked downward. I furiously pumped outward from the base of my penis, trying to get the ball out, and trying not to panic (what would the doctor think?). After a few minutes of being quite scared, I found the ball on the floor a few feet away. Now, when I masturbate, I make sure that I have a captive bead ring in, or I take the piercing out altogether.


    Coke and a Smile

    I had a sex with a glass coca-cola bottle. It became stuck and wouldn't come off and I realized it was because of vacuum pressure in that bottle caused it to seal inside my pussy. I had the ambulance come to drill a little hole on the pop bottle for it to let some air release and it came off. Never would fuck the damn bottle again. I love any toys beside something like this!


    Green Grosser

    I am a 19 year old guy, and one afternoon I thought it would be fun to insert a cucumber all the way into my anus. I had done this before and was always able to pass it back out easily. Well this time it went in, and I couldn't get it to come back out. I also had previous engagement with a friend that afternoon so I reluctantly went with the cucumber still in my anus. I was fine for most of the afternoon until I felt it coming! Needless to say I had to rush for the bathroom, but nobody was the wiser. That experience scared the hell out of me, but it was still fun.


    Feel the Heat

    Having discovered the pleasures of minty things like Altoids on my cock, I got to thinking about what the "other side" might be like.

    So, I poured a couple of drops of Tabasco sauce on the head of my dick and started to wank. it was feeling good, so I poured several more drops on my dick AND my ball sack. it felt absolutely tremendous when I came, but unfortunately the Tabasco was just getting started. long story short, I had to spent over an hour in the shower trying in vain to douse the heat, which felt like a fire consuming every inch of my genitals for the duration. it was NOT worth it!


    Kielbasa Queen

    When I was 19 I got drunk by myself. I was feeling really horny, and since I did not have a boyfriend at the time, I went to the fridge to look for something to masturbate with. All I found was a sausage, the kind that is about one and half inches around. I used that in both my vagina and ass and then passed out. The next morning I woke up and could tell I had something inside of me in both orifices, the back was easy to clear, I just used the bathroom. But when I tried to get the sausage out of my pussy I couldn't, it had broken off inside of me. After much trying with my fingers, I finally got scared and went to the hospital. So embarrassing, it just had to be a male doctor take it out.... Well now I only use my fingers....


    Brillo Boy

    I am a 24/7 male sex slave for Mistress Linda. She does not allow me to have sex with her. My main duties are to allow her to inflict pain on me. She allows me to masturbate only when she is present and she is sitting on my face.

    About a month ago, Mistress Linda was very mad with me, as I did not finish washing the dishes. She tied me up and really slapped and whipped my penis. She then got a brillo pad, lubricated my ass well, and inserted this wire thing up my ass. It was very painful.

    Next, she got this injector thing and some Tabasco sauce. She sucked up some of it into this injector, and then proceeded to inject it into the tip of my penis. It was the most painful thing, I begged her to stop. She just laughed and then used a penis pump on me.

    She then tried to pull out the brillo pad. But it was stuck.

    Linda took me to the hospital, where they removed it. They called the police. I did not press any charges and told them it was mutual. The doctors told us to be careful


    Butter My Croissant

    I was masturbating one day with a butter knife but I went in too far and cut myself. It hurt and I had to be rushed to the hospital. But after that, there was nothing wrong with me, but I never use butter knives for masturbation any more!


    Home Alone

    Until last year, I practiced self-bondage. I got off on the thrill of the struggle to escape. One evening while my boyfriend was working abroad, I got carried away and irreparably bound myself, wearing my tightest corset, nylons, 7" heels, nipple clamps, and a ball-gag. I managed to knock the phone onto the floor and after 3-4 hours effort, I dialed 999 with my heel. I couldn't say anything but the police broke in and rescued me. The sergeant said he'd never seen anything like it in 40 yrs on the force. I live in a small town, so I moved shortly thereafter due to the embarrassment.


    Rubbers

    One time, I decided to use a rubber band for a cockring, the problem was that it was so tight that it hurt, and turned my penis purple... It was so tight I couldn't grab it with my fingers, so I was forced to use a knife to cut it off. I am happy to report that I still have my penis, and that it works fine. At the time it happened... I was so scared... but thank god I was able to hold the knife steady in my nervous state.


    Candle in the Wind

    The only thing I could find to masturbate with was a candle, and I was using that when my parents walked in.  I faked being asleep, and after awhile I fell asleep for real. When I woke up the candle had melted in me and it took me two weeks to get all the wax out of me.


    Saran Wrapped - Anonymous, UK

    When I was younger I wanted to use a condom to wank in. I couldn't get hold of one though. So I thought: CLINGFILM (you might call it sandwich wrapping or Saran Wrap in the U.S)! So I made a nice pocket for my dick in clingfilm. When I put it on it slipped and wasn't tight enough, so I decided to tape it up at the base of my dick. I then got in bed and humped a pillow. Afterwards I went to take it off but it was stuck to my pubes. My pubes were tangled up in sticky tape! I lost a handful pubes (pulled from the roots), before I managed to find a pair of scissors. It is really painful having your pubes ripped clean off.


    Just Trying Them On For Size - Anonymous

     I thought my straight roommate was going to be gone for the day. He came home early and caught me in HIS bed masturbating in HIS underwear... He moved out shortly thereafter.

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green_dooky3

  • Visit green_dooky3's Xanga Site
    • Name: Wendy
    • Country: United States
    • State: Texas
    • Metro: Laredo
    • Birthday: 1/8/1990
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 11/16/2005

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  • I'm a sophmore @ LBJ. Well I like to eat alot read,love to write poetry, and I love music!!! that's about it.

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